This looks really good and it's on the right track! Now, time for some CC. The clothes are still being worked on i presume so i think it'd be better if the corset was tighter around the waist. The jacket needs to make a "circle" around the armpits and the edges in the shoulders should be pointier.
As for the head, it's really good but it looks a bit too old fora 20 year old woman. Maybe rework the cheeks?
I know that it's quite difficult to translate the look from the game to a figure but there are a few things that need some more working. Anyway, i'm sure the end result will be terrific!